One in a Million: Online Dating Advice for When You Feel Burned Out

Could you use some dating advice to better deal with having so many choices? Dating fatigue is a real issue these days with seemingly endless partner options to be found online.

In a recent article on dating, one writer described today’s dating scene in the words of Charles Dickens’ opener to his unforgettable novel “A Tale of Two Cities”:

“It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.”

Most would probably agree that aptly sums up the modern dating pleasures and plights. With the rise of international dating, speed dating and the ability to have a virtual date, you’d think that finding love would be easier than ever. But that isn’t always true.

The good news is there are endless choices of who to date and marry. And the bad news is there are endless choices of who to date and marry.

Get the drift? If you’re currently in the dating scene, you probably get it loud and clear. The more challenging question, however, is how to deal with dating burnout. If you’ve felt like dating is exhausting lately, you’re not alone. Here are some ideas to help.

Don’t Forget Your End Goal

If you’re looking for a long-term partner, modern dating shouldn’t be viewed as a never-ending exploit or hobby. The endless choices can cheapen the process if you’re not careful.

All those options can make you unwilling to ‘settle’ on a mate. The problem, however, is that being tempted into such a stance accomplishes the exact opposite goal of finding a long-term, committed relationship.

Yes, it can be flattering to consider all the many options out there. But it also can lead to a serious case of online dating burnout. Not to mention a possibly watered-down commitment level once you do find a partner.

In her “Psychology Today” article entitled Online, Too Many Dating Choices Decreases Commitment, Wendy L. Patrick, JD, Ph.D. shares the following analogy to describe how the abundance of choices can lead us to be less committed to a relationship:

“Have you ever lunched at a deli with so many menu items it was virtually impossible to order?  When you finally manage to make a choice, you are lukewarm about your selection, eyeing nearby tables to see if what other diners ordered looks better than the choice you made.”

Patrick’s analogy perfectly sums up today’s challenges of online dating. Recognize those challenges and then choose to be different.

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

It’s easy to become addicted to staying in your comfort zone when finding potential ‘matches’ online. If you’re not careful, you can waste a lot of time looking for a partner but getting nowhere.

For that reason, it’s wise to set some goals for yourself. For instance, you could set the goal of three in-person dates per month as a result of your online activity. Getting out of your comfort zone will give you the best results.

Without embracing discomfort, you’ll struggle to see the results you hoped for.

Remember The ‘Perfect’ Match Doesn’t Exist

 Have you been scrolling through thousands of dating profiles online looking for the ‘perfect match’? If so, you’re bound to be disappointed.

Remember that just as you aren’t perfect, the same goes for everyone else. People can look pretty near perfect on their ‘flawless’ profile pictures and well-written descriptions of themselves.

But in real life, we all have plenty of flaws. Ultimately, the success of your future long-term relationship won’t depend on how perfect your partner was. Rather, it’ll come down to how well you handle each other’s flaws.

Keeping this in mind is freeing. You can stop pursuing the ever-elusive perfect partner and find a flawed but compatible human being instead.

Focus on the Positives of Online Dating

 Despite the fatigue of so many choices, do your best to focus on the positives of online dating. More than any other previous generation in history, you can narrow down your dating searches and literally find ‘a needle in a haystack’.

This simply wasn’t possible in the past. Yes, the seemingly endless choices can make things tough. But so did the lack of options of the past.

Matching with so many potential choices can tempt you to feel apathetic about dating. But if you keep the many positives of online dating in mind, the process can feel more exciting than drudgery filled.

Try Going Offline for a While

 It’s funny to realize this is a novel thought these days, but here goes. If you’ve become tired of online dating, you can always resolve to go off-line for a while.

Why not ask someone out on a date in person? You might be surprised by how fun this can be. You won’t be looking for a photo and profile description only to place a person in a box before you ever meet them.

Instead, you’ll get to know your date first hand. Sometimes, relearning old methods of dating can rekindle that spark of anticipation, fun and mystique.

 Need Some Dating Advice to Help with Fatigue? Consider Counseling

How else can you combat the rise of dating app fatigue? If dating is difficult for you lately, counseling can help.
Dating nowadays is complicated and problems with online dating are surprisingly common. If you’re growing tired of dating and could use some dating tips from a professional, feel free to schedule an appointment with us.

With counseling offices in Mission Viejo, CA and Newport Beach, CA, we can work with you to overcome any dating problems you may encounter. Whether you want to avoid dating red flags, need dating advice for men or dating advice for women, we’re here for you.

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