Are you sometimes baffled when your man pulls away from you? When he isolates himself, emotionally shuts down and refuses to communicate?
It won’t completely solve your problems to know why this is happening. You will be better equipped to navigate this perplexing relationship challenge if you have an idea, though.
If you’re wondering why your man may be pulling away from you, here are three potential reasons why.
You’re Freaking Out and Pushing Him Further Away
Panic creates more panic. You thought you saw a small rift in communication with your mate and pounced all over this hiccup because you were scared.
Your fears, many times, are unmerited but your mind jumps to the worst-case scenario.
Maybe you’re tired and sleep deprived. Maybe you’re stressed at work. Whatever the reason, you let your emotions get the best of you.
Most of all, you worry that you could be the problem. Maybe he no longer loves you. Maybe he found someone else he loves more.
The real truth is that the small rift could be more about what your man had for lunch than that. But your fears escalate something petty into a hailstorm.
You may interrogate your man or badger him. There could be anger or tears. Things quickly escalate.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” you may demand.
The problem is that there wasn’t a major problem to begin with. Without wanting to, something small turns into something big.
And the more you grow upset, the more he does, too.
He pulls away and shuts down while you’re left worrying if “it’s over” when, most of the time, it hadn’t started being over.
Your Man is in Pain
Although there are a few who break the mold, most men struggle to communicate more than women. Most say fewer words and struggle to understand their feelings and emotions more than the opposite sex.
Most men also struggle considerably more than women to develop deep, lasting and meaningful friendships.
So, when pain enters a man’s life, too often, he doesn’t have all the resources he needs to adequately handle that pain.
Maybe the pain stems from the loss of a loved one, childhood abuse, depression, financial struggles, an underlying physical health condition or a toxic job that has become unbearable. There are many other potential causes as well.
Because there often is not a proper release valve, men can really go into a tailspin when pain enters their lives. Their lack of communication, failure to understand their feelings and lack of deep friendships significantly adds to the pain they experience.
Many times, this pain comes across as pulling away from you. Your man has too much else to deal with internally to relate to you in a healthy way.
At this stage, it’s important to get help for your man if you suspect they’re not dealing with their pain adequately. If men can’t find healthy ways to handle their pain, they’ll almost certainly find unhealthy ones.
That brings us to our final reason that men pull away.
There are Some Relationship Concerns that Need Addressed
This final point focusses on the dangers of your man trying to medicate their pain by unhealthy means.
That could mean alcohol, drug, sex, gambling or even hobby addiction (hobby addiction seriously is a real problem for some men that interferes with work and family).
For obvious reasons, if your man chooses an unhealthy way to numb his pain, your relationship could suffer badly perhaps even to the point that it could end.
Do you need some additional support to better handle why your man may be pulling away? Now could be the perfect time to contact the OC Relationship Center to build a better foundation for a healthy marriage!