We Aren’t Connecting—3 Things Women Want from Their Partners

You aren’t connecting with your girl like you know you should. Now you’re wondering what she wants and why you’re not enough.

Oh, boy. Where do we start?

That could be what you’re thinking because women can be complicated. But they also are easy to figure out on a certain level.

After all, economics is a complicated subject but it’s also simple—Just make more than you spend.

For most men, the problem isn’t in understanding what to do. It’s actively doing what they already understand. Let’s give you the simple version of what your woman wants from you.

To Feel Safe

Your woman needs you to be her protector. This has nothing to do with your girl being weak. As you already know, that isn’t the case.

But your girl needs you to hold her hand when she loses a loved one, stick up for her when others don’t and hold her when she’s crying (even if you don’t understand).

She needs you to be her calm during the storm instead of adding to the turbulence.

The Most Beautiful

Beauty means a lot of different things to people. Everyone can look at a sunset and agree that it’s beautiful. And the reasons people find sunsets beautiful would be pretty much the same.

But there are way more complexities in determining the beauty of a woman. Yes, a segment of our culture would have you believe that beauty is only how hot a woman looks in a bikini.

Physical attraction is important but there are plenty of more enduring qualities that make your woman beautiful. Physical beauty wanes and quite quickly in more than enough cases.

So, given that fact, here’s a good question to ask:

If my woman lost her physical beauty, what about her would still be beautiful?

Those other positive qualities you come up with make up the entire beauty of your girl. Those traits you came up with were always there. They’re just easy to take for granted.

By making a conscious effort to appreciate the full beauty of your woman, you’ll see that she’s far more beautiful than you give her credit for.

At this point, it’s time to tell her she’s the most beautiful. Besides her physical traits, she may have a great sense of humor, be self-sacrificing, intelligent and generous among other things.

Guys, the most beautiful thing about your woman is that she’s willing to put up with someone like you. No matter how much of a stud you think you are, not many women would be willing to do that!

If you treat your wife like the most beautiful woman in the world, the funny thing is she’ll become exactly that. If you try to do it the opposite way, things won’t go well. You can’t build someone up by running them down.

A Marathon Runner

Yep. Sprinters need not apply. Your woman needs you there for the long haul.

Your woman needs someone to grow old with. Someone who resolves never to leave her even when times become absurdly difficult.

It isn’t so bad giving the most beautiful woman in the world what she wants. Trust me. You’ll be handsomely rewarded and your difficulty connecting with her will quickly become less of a problem. If it is time for you to schedule your couples counseling appointment online using our online scheduling tool, call us at (949) 220-3211, or text us.

How Relationships Are Like Sports

Relationships are like sports. Image of sports balls.

Ever been on a sports team?

Did you know that your experience on a sports team can teach you a lot about how relationships work?

Here are some similarities between sports and relationships to consider.

Not a One-Man Show

Did you ever have someone on your team who thought they were the most important player? That they were better than others or privileged?

If you did, you probably weren’t full of happy thoughts towards them.

If you were the self-centered player, you may have wondered why people got frustrated and angry with you so much.

The tension happened because a sports team’s effectiveness breaks down when one person makes it all about them. Morale begins to really sag. People feel like quitting.

The same thing happens in relationships. When one person makes the relationship all about them, they consistently make selfish decisions.

They also make decisions that they think are in their best interest instead of the “team’s”. In your relationship, you really are a team.

You’ll need to put your ego and selfish desires aside even though it’s not easy. Instead, do what’s best for everyone. By doing so, you’ll do what’s best for you, too, though it may not always feel like it at the time.

You Face Many Opponents

Just like in sports, you face many opponents in relationships. In sports, a new “enemy” is always out there in a different-colored uniform from another town or city trying to conquer you. To make you lose.

Your adversaries in sports cause tension. They bring on struggle. But, with your team, you overcome them.

In your relationships, there are many rivals, too. They take more-complicated forms, though.

Your opponents may be poverty, health problems, a toxic job, the temptation to remain faithful, the death of a friend or sleeplessness. Or they may take a thousand other forms.

But one thing will always be the same. You must work together to beat back the challenger.

You must resolve to fight together. No, not fight with each other. But fight as one against anyone and anything that threatens to bring harm to your relationship.

Your Teammates Can Be Difficult

Yep. This one’s already been hit on some but is worth looking at a little closer.

As you work in the trenches on a team, at times, you grow frustrated with each other. That’s perfectly normal as tensions can be very high during stressful situations.

In your relationships, you won’t always think the other person is the best person in the world. You’ll likely even go through times you don’t want to love them.

But, eventually, you triumph over these disagreements because you’re on the same team.

It’s All Worth It in the End!

You work together to overcome difficult situations in sports. You do the same in relationships.

And as you work together in that relationship, you eventually discover something wonderful.

You find the hard times that could’ve torn you apart, instead, brought you closer together.

That a lifelong friend was the result. And that a satisfying journey was shared together. And all that happened was worth it in the end!

Are you looking to improve your relationship? Or have you struggled recently with a breakup? We’d like to help. Schedule your appointment for either couples counseling or men’s counseling using our online scheduling tool, call us at (949) 220-3211, or text us.

Breadwinner Dads—How to Handle the Stress

This a timely topic as the American middle class continues to disappear from the economic landscape. There are plenty of jobs out there but a full-time one is less likely to support a family.

A multitude of dads are really having a tough time. If you can relate, you may feel worthless, like a failure, depressed and angry. There’s the temptation to disconnect from your family and even engage in risky behavior to escape your crummy situation.

Your job may be the best out there but if you can’t provide for your family with it, eventually, you’ll struggle to maintain quality work. There’ll be too many financial stressors that overshadow doing a great job.

This is the most stressed breadwinner dads have been for generations. But what can be done?

Here are a few ideas but don’t stop there. You owe it to yourself and your family to do what it takes.

Cut Your Commute

Even a twenty-minute commute to work each way adds up to over a solid month of 40-hour work weeks where you’re doing nothing but driving!

That’s on top of the solid year of work you’ll already be doing.

That’s not all, though. You’ll also spend thousands of dollars in gas and auto repairs. The money you spend on your commute is immediately subtracted from your income along with taxes, lessening your earning potential.

Unless you work an unusually hazardous job, this is also the most dangerous part of your day. You are far more likely to be injured on the way to and from work than at your job.

Are you driving far away for a higher paying job that stresses you out like crazy? Do the math and decide if you’re better off with a lower-paid job closer to home.

The results of your quick study may shock you. Cut down on your commute and you’ll save money, time and be safer. This adds up to less stress and more positive family influence.

Work Remotely

There’s a huge shift in the job world that simply wasn’t possible before the internet age.
The number of dads (and moms) who work from home continues to increase.

This is a great thing for many dads. You completely cut out the time and expenses of a commute.

Your day also becomes more than punching a clock or mandatory overtime. Instead, you’re focused solely on the quality of hours you work.

This means you work when you’re most productive and that you can pick your own hours.

Doctors appointments, illness and unforeseen life events can be worked through without so much fear that you’ll lose your job by taking too much time off.

You’ll also get much more interaction with your spouse and children.

Is this lifestyle a cakewalk? Hardly.

Still, many dads find remote work to be more of a dance than a 9-to-5 dirge.

Create A Job

Does your pay stink? Do you dread long hours in a toxic environment?

Maybe you look at the job listings in despair finding nothing that suits you. It could be time to create your own job.

Again, this isn’t easy but more dads are finding freedom by creating a job that isn’t at the mercy of micromanagement and corporate cuts. Perhaps you could start a business that involves remote work.

Summing It Up

Other ways to reduce your stress should be considered, too. Some include consistent physical exercise and sleep, a healthy hobby and a good support system.

Know that you’re not alone in your struggle, men. Keep trying until you find what works best to ease your stress. Schedule your appointment online using our online scheduling tool, call us at (949) 220-3211, or text us.