Do you desire to stay friends after a breakup? Although that isn’t always possible, many have found the ability to do just that.
It likely will be a very different friendship from what it once was. But if you can go through life with one less adversary, hey, more power to you.
What follows are some ideas to give you a better chance of success at the “just friends” thing.
Both Sides Have to Want to Stay Friends
You can only control yourself. You already know that but we all struggle to remember that in day-to-day life. We fret and fume over things we can’t control way too much. In the process, we lose out on a happier, more fulfilling life.
No matter how much you want to be friends, if your former partner doesn’t want the same thing it simply won’t work.
If your ex doesn’t feel the same way as you, you’ll need to work through that. You tried to do what you could but it didn’t work. At least you’ll know that you gave it your best shot.
Now, focus your energy on self-improvement and reach out to others who need a caring person like you in their lives.
Both Sides Need to Have Peace with a New Type of Relationship
In other words, both parties need to have healed from past hurts that led to the breakup of your romantic relationship.
If one of you still secretly isn’t “over” the other person, this won’t work. One of you will always be trying to relive and repair a past romantic relationship that no longer exists. The other party will awkwardly resist these attempts.
If you want to be friends, it would be wise to communicate what that new friendship should look like. You both may have very different ideas of what to expect. Get on the same page first for a much better chance at success.
Include Your New Significant Other In this Process
For obvious reasons, your new partner could feel uncomfortable with or threatened by your continued friendship with your ex.
Such feelings are understandable. While there needs to be a level of trust from your new partner, there should be some ground rules in place to protect your current relationship.
These can include refraining from displays of affection that could compromise your current relationship, not being alone with your ex and limiting your interaction.
Regardless of what you decide, if you and your current partner can’t agree on how this should take place, you’re in for big-time relationship troubles.
At the end of the day, maintaining a friendship with your ex may or may not be possible. You won’t know whether you can unless you try. Ultimately, you’ll need to be at peace with the possibility that it may or may not work out.
If it is time for you to schedule your individual appointment, you can do so online using our online scheduling tool, call us at (949) 430-7269, or text us.
