Are you in a new relationship? If so, you’re likely well-acquainted with the battle to be patient.
You’re trying to balance going too far with your affection with your fears and apprehension.
How can you be patient in this phase of your relationship? For starters,
(no pun intended), here are some ideas.
Mentally Prepare Yourself
Think of your best friends. How did they become such great friends?
You likely didn’t just walk up to them one day and ask, “Hey, do you want to be my BFF?”
You probably would’ve weirded them out, right? You may have lost the potential for a fantastic friendship before it ever started.
There needed to be a gradual time for the friendship to grow into your life naturally.
The same makes the most sense and works best in romantic relationships though it can be way harder to be patient.
Keeping this in mind will help. Otherwise, you could push a potentially great fit away.
Mentally preparing yourself will minimize the stressors of a new relationship. Some things just won’t happen until the proper time no matter how hard you try.
And they may never happen at all if you try too hard.
Be Considerate of Your Date
Welcome to the ongoing give and take of any relationship no matter how new or advanced.
Ironically, being too pushy accomplishes exactly the opposite of what you want.
If you pressure your new date to be more physical than they’re comfortable with they’ll shut down and push you away. Or, worse yet, they’ll give in to the pressure and later regret doing so.
If you pressure your date to spend too much time too early, they may start avoiding you.
The reason there’s resistance to impatience is that the impatient person is only thinking about what they want.
The person feeling pressured notices this selfishness and instinctively resists it. This kind of impatience, if not kept in its place, can cause your new and vulnerable relationship to break down and possibly even fail.
Do your best to notice cues from your date and be considerate of their feelings. That’s what healthy relationships are all about—a love that’s willing to sacrifice.
Set Boundaries for Yourself
Lastly, before getting too far into a relationship, take some preventative steps to stay patient.
Ask your good friends or a therapist for some advice about ways to protect yourself and your new date.
Suggestions may include a specific plan to limit time spent, doing things with your date in public instead of going home together and limiting texts, for instance.
By learning patience in your new relationship, it’ll grow the quickest it can and you’ll both get what you want in the process. If it is time for you to schedule your couples counseling appointment online using our online scheduling tool, call us at (949) 393-8662, or text us.