How easy is it for you to ask for help from your spouse? For many couples, they both work full time jobs, yet, one person typically ends up doing most of the work around the house. That might be because that person wants things done a certain way, or needs to feel a sense of being in control over how the household is run. Even so, unless that person is Superwoman or Superman, it can result in a lot of stress, resentment and general unhappiness.
Sound familiar?
Giving Up Control During the Holidays
If you’re the type of person who likes things done a certain way, it can be vexing just to think of asking your husband or wife to give you a hand around the house during this time of year … but something HAS to give. Perhaps you’re planning a big party for all of your friends and family, or maybe you always bake several batches of cookies each year for your loved ones. As difficult as it might be for you to relinquish control over managing the multitude of holiday tasks on your to-do list, even the biggest “control freak” can become overwhelmed with all that’s in store this time of year. There is hope though, and you don’t have to experience that exhaustion … as long as you’re willing to give up a little bit of control. All you need to do is ask for help.
Imagine the Outcome
Just for a moment, imagine what the outcome might be if you were to ask for help from your spouse as you’re making your holiday plans. Chances are, he or she doesn’t even realize how overwhelmed you get every year, and probably thinks that staying out of your way is the best way to help you.
When you work together to make a party happen, or when your spouse pitches in to make the holidays a little easier on you, there’s a sense of teamwork there. Your relationship will inevitably become closer because you worked together. Ladies, your husbands love it when you come to them with a problem and they have the means to help you fix it. Men, your wives have a deep desire to help you with anything you might be preparing for the holidays, and they feel a great sense of purpose in being the ones you chose to ask for help.
Put the “Merry” Back Into Your Christmas
Many couples have built their relationships on the false premise that they have to take care of everything and everyone within their household, or else it won’t run smoothly. If this way of thinking is carried over into the holidays, it only causes strife and resentment. Don’t try to do it all on your own when you don’t need to. This year, why not put the “Merry” back into your Christmas season by giving yourself permission to hand off some of that responsibility to your husband or wife? Cut yourself some slack in this way and you’ll find that it will not only bring you and your partner closer, but it gives you the break you really need to relax a bit and enjoy the season more than ever before.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by all those holiday tasks (or year-round) but have a difficult time relinquishing control over how your household runs, trust the trained therapists at OC Relationship Center to help you sort it out. Call us today at 949-393-8662 or book your appointment via our online calendar.
