Before You Marry—Setting the Stage for Happiness

Preparing for a happy marriage is much like the beginning of building a house.

Before you construct a house, do you find a rough piece of land and just start building walls?


You make sure that land is level. You painstakingly work on your foundation.

What’s the point of building if there’s nothing strong to build on in the first place?

That’s a good question. After all, you want that house to stand for a lifetime. You want it to weather any storm.

So, how can you set the stage for happiness in your marriage? Here are some ideas.

Prepare Your Finances for Marriage

No matter how much you love each other, “living on love” won’t cut it—at least not for long.

Finances are not an exact science. There are many things you can’t foresee until they happen. Also, if you wait until your job and financial situation is perfect, you’ll never get married.

Still, there are some things you can do. Talk openly about your plans for work, housing and the ongoing pursuit of more fulfilling and higher paid work.

Identify areas you or your potential spouse may be weak in. Maybe one of you tends toward impulsive spending. Come up with a good way to handle this such as discussing purchases over a certain amount before buying.

It’s also wise to decide who will take care of your finances in the marriage.

You don’t want to worry yourselves to death because financial security isn’t everything. It doesn’t guarantee a happy marriage. There are plenty of financially secure and miserable couples out there.

That said, one of the biggest issues of contention and fights in a marriage involves finances. A little preparation can go a long way in setting you up for success and happiness.

Pursuing Something Bigger Than Yourselves

Before marriage, get to know each other as well as you can. This could prevent a bad marriage from happening before it ever starts.

Next, assuming you both still want to take the green light, spend plenty of time dreaming together.

Now is the best time for this. Once you have kids—as special as they are—it will be harder to stop and think about your hopes and dreams.

Find something more compelling and enduring to base your happiness on than money. Work together to answer the big “why” to your lives.

The Pursuit of Happiness

If you try to be happy at all costs in marriage, the irony is you’ll make you and your spouse just the opposite.

Plan on an enduring relationship based on an unwavering commitment to faithfulness and trust.

Not every moment will be happy, but you’ll build a deep satisfaction that will last a lifetime by staying committed.

True happiness, at its deepest level, isn’t based on superficial things like job success and finances.

Those are petty things compared to loving others and being loved. If it is time for you to schedule your couples counseling appointment online using our online scheduling tool, call us at (949) 393-8662, or text us.

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