Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages opened up the doors of communication for many couples. We highly recommend it as an excellent read. If you’re not familiar with what the five love languages are, Chapman defines them as the ways in which we feel most loved by other people. Primarily, this refers to our partners or our spouses.
The five love languages are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
According to Chapman, couples tend to love each other using the love language that appeals to them the most. In other words, a wife loves her husband using the love language that she wants to be loved with.
Of course, this can create problems within a marriage, causing each partner to feel unappreciated and unloved at times. As a result, feelings get hurt, resentment grows, and many people begin looking elsewhere for someone who will give them what they feel they need in a relationship.
Can Love Languages Be Learned?
It’s highly unlikely for two people to have the same love language, although it does happen. When it does, the couple usually has a great marriage because they easily understand what the other person needs in order to feel loved.
For those whose love languages are very different, struggles are very common. Even so, Chapman offers hope in that it is possible for us to learn how to love each other using the love language that our spouses most identify with. It might take some time, and it definitely takes a lot of practice. However, with a little of both, many couples have found success is learning how to offer their spouses what they need in their relationship.
What About Your Marriage?
Sometimes a relationship can feel like it’s beyond hope. It can seem as though you’ve traveled down a long road together that has been filled with problems and strife, and you might think that there’s nothing that can be done to fix the damage. A relationship counselor can work with you to help you understand each other better. Sometimes it takes the insight of a professional in order to see things differently, and begin to work toward repairing a bruised, or even a broken marriage.
There are some beautiful things ahead for you in your marriage, as long as you learn how to give each other the type of love that you each need. You’ll find that you’re able to grow together as you learn how to provide your spouse with a love unlike any that he or she has ever known.
It’s all in mastering your spouse’s love language.