Editor’s Note: This post was reviewed and updated in June 2025 to reflect current relationship therapy practices. It is written for anyone facing fears of infidelity, including those experiencing emotional distance, secrecy, or uncertainty in their relationship. You are not alone—and you don’t have to figure it out alone.
Is Your Partner Having an Affair?
Wondering is your partner having an affair? That question alone can feel like a punch in the gut.
Sometimes, it comes out of nowhere—an unexpected text, a strange tone, a locked phone. Other times, it creeps in slowly: emotional distance, irritability, or a shift in your partner’s routine that just doesn’t sit right.
You may not have proof. You might not even want to say it out loud. But something inside you is wondering if you’re being lied to—or if you’re imagining things.
At OC Relationship Center, we help people sort through that fog. Below are a few signs that may point to infidelity—but more importantly, we’ll help you figure out what to do next.
They’re Suddenly Protective of Their Privacy
Everyone deserves some privacy. But if your partner used to be relaxed with their devices and now hides their phone, clears their history, or gets defensive when asked about simple things—it might be more than just a need for space.
Changes in digital behavior—new passcodes, always taking calls outside, or keeping screens facedown—can be subtle signs that something’s shifted.
There’s a Shift in Routine That Doesn’t Add Up
Working late. Running new errands. More solo time with “friends” you haven’t heard much about. It might all be innocent—but when it comes with vague explanations or emotional coldness, it can raise red flags.
If your partner seems less emotionally available, or you feel a growing sense of distance, it’s worth paying attention.
They’re Emotionally Checked Out—or Suddenly Over-Attentive
Some people having an affair become distant. Others overcompensate with gifts, affection, or flattery. Either way, the emotional rhythm of the relationship starts to feel off. You may feel like you’re walking on eggshells, or that your gut keeps whispering, “Something’s not right.”
Is Your Partner Having an Affair—Or Are You Just Overthinking It?
This might be the hardest one. If you’ve brought up your concerns and been told you’re overly suspicious, jealous, or imagining things, it can make you doubt your own intuition. This is especially true if your partner deflects, gets angry, or turns the conversation back on you.
While these signs don’t guarantee infidelity, your feelings still matter. You don’t need proof to justify concern. You deserve clarity, respect, and emotional safety in your relationship.
So What Now?
You don’t need to make a huge decision today. You don’t even need to be sure. But if you’re living with chronic doubt, stress, or emotional disconnection, let us help please. You see, if you’re asking yourself is your partner having an affair and can’t shake the feeling, therapy with experienced counselors can help you sort fact from fear.
If you’re not sure whether to repair the relationship or end it, Discernment Counseling can help you explore your options with clarity and care.
You might also appreciate this perspective from therapist Esther Perel: Rethinking Infidelity (TED Talk)
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Schedule online or call us at (949) 393-8662.
No matter what’s happening—you deserve honesty, clarity, and peace of mind.