There arguably can be no greater fear in a relationship (besides the prospect of the one you love tragically passing away).
There are few if any betrayals stronger in life than your partner having an affair.
Virtually every person in a committed relationship has at least entertained such a fear—even if they have ample reason to trust their partner.
But, perhaps for you, trust is beginning to erode and you’re starting to fear the worst. If that’s you, here are some potential signs your partner is having an affair.
A Spike in Protectiveness of Their Devices
If you notice this diminished transparency, it certainly is a reason for concern.
Maybe you find that where you once shared cell phones, email or computers, there is now a hard line of secrecy.
There are your electronic devices and there are your partner’s. The mutual sharing of these that once existed clearly no longer exists.
You now find yourself locked out and when you bring up the change, your partner becomes angry, defensive or intentionally unclear.
For the affair to take place or continue, there needs to be a way to communicate. If you have access to these devices, their cover will be quickly blown.
Unexplained Time Away
Not surprisingly, if you have fears of an affair, part of the issue is that your partner is away more than normal.
Maybe they’re going out with friends when previously there wasn’t as much of a priority or staying at work longer.
Along with this, there will be an attempt to hide what’s really going on. You find that your partner doesn’t act themselves or is defensive when you ask them where they were.
You also feel a relational coldness previously not experienced.
Without realizing it, you’ve grown used to typical odors in your home. Unusual odors are a common way for a partner to blow their cover.
They’ve grown used to these odors on their clothing and no longer smell them but you, not being immersed in them, do.
It could be smoke, perfume, cologne or other odors that typically aren’t in your home that make you question what your partner’s been up to.
There are times when partners will exhibit some of the symptoms of an affair and still be faithful. Do your best to suspend judgment until you know for sure.
Whether you’re convinced of an affair or aren’t yet sure, seeing a licensed professional can help you voice these concerns in a healthy, discreet and safe way.
Whether this all ends up being just a scare or more, your counselor will help you navigate through these challenging times.
You can also work through the possibility of an emotional affair that may not yet have turned physical and discuss other warning signs not mentioned in this post.
If it is time for you to schedule your counseling appointment, you can do so online using our online scheduling tool, call us at (949) 430-7269, or text us.