How to Save a Marriage

How do you save a marriage? That’s a heavy question but an answerable one.

Is your relationship going up in flames, flatlined?

There is still hope if you and your spouse don’t want to give up. New houses are built on top of the charred ground every day. Flatlined people come back to life with a new, fresh and hope-filled perspective on life.

Every day in all walks of life, things literally come back from the dead and marriages are one of those things.

Here are some quick emergency tips if your relationship has reached a tipping point.

Do Damage Control

A relationship that’s near death, is sustaining a lot of damage and fast.

Everyone starts jumping on the destruction bandwagon. It’s even common for family, friends and co-workers to join in. These people feel your hurt and want to protect you so they may tell you to ditch that “loser” otherwise known as your spouse.

The problem is, you may not be convinced this is the right choice. After all, you realize you’re being a jerk, too.

Ever hear the saying, “hurting people hurt people”?

Well, you’re living proof of that. So is your spouse.

You and your spouse are beating the crap out of each other—if not physically, at least emotionally.

You have to break the damage cycle no matter how much you want to hit back.


You have to and quick.

If you don’t, your marriage simply won’t survive.

If you feel your relationship is worth keeping, apologize and say something nice even if it feels hokey at first.

Get that snowball rolling in a positive direction instead of the opposite.

If you’re in a relationship with someone other than your spouse, that relationship needs to end immediately.

Distance yourself (at least for a while) from those who tell you to throw in the towel. Surround yourself with people committed to the restoration and success of your marriage.

After Damage Control, Start Rebuilding

It took two to tear things down and it’ll take two to rebuild.

Don’t be disillusioned into thinking this process will be quick and easy.

It won’t.

But also don’t believe for a minute that the hard work won’t be worth it.

It most certainly will.

Yes, it’s way easier to destroy a relationship than rebuild one, but it’s possible for things to get better in many cases. And the result can be a relationship that’s stronger than ever before.

If you’re both committed to making things better, you can begin the healing path together.

Set safeguards on internet and phone usage to regain trust if that’s needed.

Set goals together. Find a trusted professional to help you come up with a plan and stick to it. Don’t get discouraged if the process seems slow. Schedule time to do things together.

Just focus on small victories. Over time, those small victories will turn into big ones.

If you knew that someone you loved was stuck in a burning house and needed help, would you have the courage to rescue them?

That someone who needs to be rescued is your spouse. They need to be rescued from their own destructive tendencies and so do you.

That sounds like a good team.

Don’t you think?

If it is time for you to schedule your couples counseling appointment online using our online scheduling tool, call us at (949) 393-8662, or text us.

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