For many reasons, breakups are tough. They can make you feel like the rug has been ripped out from under you and that you’ve lost your favorite person in the world. Conversely, if the relationship you’re leaving was particularly rocky, you may be left regretting how much time you wasted in a dead-end relationship before moving on.
While coming to grips with loss is a necessary and healthy aspect of moving on after a breakup, staying in that mentality for too long isn’t. After the initial grieving process, that bitterness, grief and disappointment can give way to an encouraging new perspective. You may even see some good that’s come out of a situation that was initially anything but good.
What are some ways that a breakup can be good in the long run? Finding out what these are for you can be an extremely useful tool to avoid wallowing over the past. Being able to identify these positive points also is an important aspect of growing as a person. Here are some common ways that a breakup can be good in the long run.
It Gives You a Chance to Analyze What Went Wrong
No baseball player steps up to the plate and knocks it out of the park before ever practicing their swing. And precious few business owners are successful on their first attempt at success. Instead, in either of these cases, it takes a ton of trial and error to arrive at what works.
This is even more the case when it comes to long-term relationships. It could be argued that few aspects of life are more potentially rewarding (or potentially aggravating) as long-term relationships are.
That’s because it takes a lot of personal growth to see what works in a relationship and what doesn’t. Often, failure is necessary before success can be realized. Those who peddle the idea of instant success in relationships do more harm than good. Instant success in relationships is a myth.
Wallowing in your failures after a breakup isn’t good. Identifying ways you could’ve done better and working at changing is good. No, you won’t be an instant relationship expert right way. That takes time—a lifetime, actually. In light of that, don’t beat yourself up, just work at getting better.
You Can Get a Fresh Start
Obviously, if you’re exiting an unusually crummy relationship, the good that comes out of it will be easier to see. Either way, you now have the opportunity to have a fresh start in a new relationship.
The ways you goofed up can be improved upon. You’ll also likely have a better idea of what you’re looking for in a partner. No, your breakup isn’t the end of the world although it may feel like it. With the proper perspective, in time, you can turn that breakup into something better than you had before.
Are You Struggling with a Breakup?
If so, you don’t have to go through this painful process alone. Our team regularly assists individuals struggling with breakups. The OC Relationship Center can help you work through this struggle so you can turn a seemingly bad thing into something that’s eventually good. You can schedule an appointment at our Mission Viejo or Newport Beach, CA counseling locations.