You probably remember how excited you were the first time you saw that adorable little face. Wrapped in a pretty pink or blue blanket, and sleeping soundly, you just knew that your life would never be the same. You smiled up at your spouse and you shared a wonderful moment together that you will never forget.
However, as time went on, and as that child grew, you started to realize exactly how much different your life was going to be. Perhaps you had a few more children together, and now you’ve found yourself in a spot where your kids seem to always find a way to command your attention. Perhaps it’s even to the point where you don’t have much energy left for your relationship with your spouse at the end of the day.
This is a common problem in marriage. Many couples spend all of their energy on raising their kids, to the point where when the kids are gone, they find that they no longer even know each other. So, what do you do when your kids demand so much of your attention? How do you reconnect with each other after a long day filled with sports practices, piano lessons and dinners on the go?
Remember – You’re On the Same Team
Every couple should have this discussion, and they should have it more than once. You are working together in a partnership to raise your family. Avoid thinking that you’re doing it on your own while your spouse is working, or that you take care of the kids all the time while your spouse tends to his or her own needs. Instead, be in your relationship for each other. Work together, and understand the importance of giving each other a break now and then to regroup. You need to be able to rely on each other to make your family work, and as long as you remember you’re working together, your team will remain strong.
Find a Sitter
Even when finances are tight, it is still important for you to go out on dates with your spouse every once in a while. Perhaps you can’t go to a fancy restaurant. Why not pack a picnic and go to the park? Find a babysitter who will work cheap, or better yet, trade babysitting with another family who can use the time away from the kids as much as you can.
Give Your Spouse the Benefit of the Doubt
Resentment can creep into a marriage quickly, especially when one person is quick to judge or criticize the parenting techniques of the other. Ladies, if your husband is constantly putting diapers on backwards, don’t give him a lot of grief over it. Men, if your wife doesn’t always get your kids to soccer practice on time, remember how many demands she has during the course of her day. Remember, you are both trying to do the best you can for your family, so give each other the benefit of the doubt and cut each other a little slack.
Above all, take a moment each day to look into each other’s eyes and appreciate each other. Hug each other, kiss each other. Even if you don’t feel like it. Tell your spouse that you love them. Those moments are so precious, and even if you are having difficulty today, your family life is filled with blessings because of the lives you created together and the love you have for each other. Enjoy each and every one of those moments, and enjoy each other along the way.
Need a little help figuring out how to keep the connection strong between you and your partner while still meeting the demands of family life? Your marriage was once your most important investment. We’d like to help you keep it that way. If you are considering couples counseling, let the counselors at Orange County Relationship Center help you. Call us today at 949-393-8662 or book your appointment via our online calendar.