Women are relational by nature. When your relationships hurt, you hurt deeply. Something we feel is a crisis may be viewed differently by our mate—at least at first.
When to seek help is a common question of many women. Women don’t want to make a problem out of something that isn’t a big deal. They also don’t want to wait until a relationship is in a death spiral.
So, when should you seek help? Although no one relationship is the same and there isn’t a blanket answer, here are some ideas.
Relational Emergency Room or Fitness Center?
Counselors and therapists are working hard to change thinking about how and when to seek out treatment.
For example, is there a better chance of survival if you regularly work out and exercise or if you let yourself become 200 pounds overweight and need to be rushed to the hospital with a massive heart attack?
The first option, of course. But many still view therapy as the last resort once a relationship that has been disintegrating for years and months finally goes into “cardiac arrest”.
Therapists do all they can in these cases but the success rate will be lower if you wait that long.
A better way to view therapy is maintenance to something that is already good but could always be better. You do all you can to strengthen your relationship with your mate and part of that healthful process is periodic therapy.
Both parties will be more involved in the process in this way.
When there are ongoing problems, it’s not uncommon for one person in the relationship to feel that going to counseling is the only way to save a relationship. That’s a lot of pressure and not all of that pressure is healthy.
Seeing a counselor early can help you do “preventative maintenance” just as you would through seeing a dentist (Although we hope your sessions are more enjoyable than going to the dentist!)
What are some specific reasons it couldn’t hurt to get help besides? Here are a few:
- Ongoing communication difficulty
- Impulsive spending that is damaging your relationship
- Unfaithfulness
- Sexual problems
- Difficulty controlling anger and other emotions
- Mental illness that is getting in the way of your relationship
- You want to take your relationship from good to great!
Summing It Up
These potential reasons to get help are only a few possibilities. If you are unsure about whether to find a therapist, a great place to start is to call for an initial appointment. You can quickly get advice from a professional about what would be best given your unique situation.
Don’t let the need to “get help” scare you off as it does with too many people who could have relief. We all need help from time to time. To need help and to seek it out is completely normal and human. If it is time for you to schedule your couples counseling appointment online using our online scheduling tool, call us at (949) 393-8662, or text us.
