How to Negotiate Housework Chores

Even for people who don’t work from home, there’s still always a lot of work to be done at home. From dishes to laundry, to home repair and vacuuming, the list is extensive and can sometimes feel overwhelming given all the other life responsibilities.

The reality is that everyone needs to help out in order to avoid the weight of that responsibility crushing one person while the others skip out.

Although there is no single right way to negotiate household chores, here are some possibilities that could make your life and the life of your family’s a lot more pleasant.

Should We Split Up Household Chores?

Yes and no.

It’s a good idea to figure out who enjoys certain tasks more when breaking up the many responsibilities. It also needs to be considered who’s the most maxed out in other areas of life like vocation, further education or child care to name a few.

But should the main goal be to make sure each partner does exactly 50 percent of the chores? In most cases, no.

Doing so can turn adversarial. There are differing ideas of what 50/50 chore-splitting should look like. It also tends to erode what you ultimately want and need: teamwork.

A better approach is that each family member should give 100 percent toward achieving household-task goals instead of saying, “I’ve already done my share. The rest is your responsibility.”

Should We Involve Our Kids?


The next question is how young should we involve the children?

The best answer is as young as you can. The younger you start, the easier it will be in the future. If you wait until your child is a teen to start making them do chores, you’re in for a power struggle.

Although doing chores can sometimes feel mundane, children can greatly benefit from the accomplishment the completion of chores brings.

For your children, learning to help with chores is much more than a way to get the bathroom cleaned or the trash taken out. It’s teaching them important life skills.

They’ll learn how to work as a team in a family unit, learn how to be self-disciplined and to take satisfaction in quality work.

All of these traits will help your child be more successful in their career and family when they are adults. Obviously, the older your child becomes, the more ownership they should have in household chores.

Can You Get Rid of Some Chores?

You probably can. If you can find some ways to drastically cut down on how long chores take or eliminate the need for certain ones altogether, everyone will win.

Maybe you can bump down the frequency of chores to give everyone a break. For instance, does the bathroom really need scrubbed every day?

You also can cut down on the number of belongings you own, thereby eliminating the need to take care of so many things. The saying, “the more you own, the more it owns you,” applies here.

Make your life about people instead of endlessly taking care of stuff. People are what life is really about.

If you’re able, come up with tasks you can hire someone to do for you such as lawn work or basic house cleaning.

The key is to find what works best for your family.

Perhaps after this article, you still feel overwhelmed about splitting up household chores and developing a winning system.

There are many specific plans that can help you based on your family dynamic. Our team can help you find success with less fretting and stress.

If it is time for you to schedule your family counseling appointment, you can do so online using our online scheduling tool, call us at (949) 430-7269, or text us.

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