It’s no wonder that the book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray is so popular. The book hits on some of the most important issues facing couples today. Communication is one of those issues, and if you struggle with communicating with your partner, chances are pretty good that this book would help you figure out what makes him or her tick.
Today, however, let’s talk a little bit about the differences between how men and women communicate.
Female Communication Style
If you’re a woman, you probably can relate to this scenario:
You come home from a long day at the office. You had a co-worker report you to your boss today, and she did it over an issue that wasn’t your fault. You have shared many lunch hours with this person, and you’ve even had her and her husband over for dinner a few times. You feel hurt, crushed, and even stabbed in the back.
You’re looking forward to being able to talk to your partner about your feelings. You’ve been holding back tears all day long, and you want nothing more than to have a good cry. However, when you begin telling him about your day, and how you feel, he immediately begins giving you advice about how to confront her. All you really wanted was to have a shoulder to cry on. You feel more alone now, than ever.
Male Communication Style
If you’re a man, this probably sounds familiar:
It’s been a long week, and now that you’ve placed your stamp of approval on the final proposal, you’re looking forward to having some time to just drink a beer and relax in front of the television. You deserve this time.
You walk through the door at home, and your partner meets you in the kitchen. Before you can even get the cap off your beer, she begins to ask you questions about your day, why you forgot to take the garbage out (again), and whether or not you think she should invite your parents over for dinner.
It’s all too much to take before you even get your shoes off, and you really wish she wouldn’t instantly start throwing questions at you the minute you get home. You shoot back a few short answers, hoping she’ll be satisfied, but she senses your annoyance. She asks you what’s wrong, and you storm off into your bedroom, wondering why you can’t be left alone for just fifteen minutes after you walk in the door at night.
Yes, the way men and women communicate with each other is very different. When we communicate with each other in the way that works for us, there are bound to be problems. The key is to figure out what your partner needs and provide it to them.
It takes compromise, patience and understanding to be able to communicate effectively with your partner. With a little time, and a lot of effort, you can break through the Mars vs. Venus barrier. When you do, you’ll find that your relationship is much happier, and you’re finally able to work together as a team.
That’s exactly how it was meant to be.
Sometimes it takes the insight of a professional in order to see things differently, and begin communicating effectively. If you’re facing obstacles in communicating with your partner, a relationship counselor can work with you to help you understand each other better. Please give the counselors at OC Relationship Center a call today at 949-393-8662 or book via our online appointment scheduling.