Have problems in your relationship? If so, it’s understandable that you want to solve them.
But sometimes focusing on your problems doesn’t help much. You just find yourself drifting further and further apart the harder you try.
The defenses on both sides become increasingly heightened. Neither partner is willing to risk being hurt again.
It’s like hitting the accelerator when your tires are already buried deep in mud. You’re only going to sink further down and it’ll be even harder to get out.
What you may need is a little stress-free bonding instead of problem-related hand-wringing.
If you’re struggling right now as a couple, when’s the last time you just had fun?
Clue: If your first internal response was “um” then, Houston, we have a problem.
Why not find fun with your partner again? Here are a few more thoughts on that.
Having Fun Together Helps Strained Relationships
Fun activities naturally help couples to become less guarded. It’s also virtually impossible to fight when you’re having fun.
This is a very effective way to bond as a couple. And the more you bond as a couple, the less significant or glaring your relational problems feel. Faults become far easier to overlook and work through.
This isn’t to say that your relational difficulties will magically go away if you do this. You’ll just be closer as a couple and things will get easier.
Think About the Fun Things You Used to Do as a Couple
Almost all relationships start out fun. Few get into a relationship because they want to be miserable for the rest of their lives.
At first, you naturally gravitated towards fun, spontaneous activities. But then life hit you. That could’ve included kids, debt, heightened work stressors or responsibilities and so on (Not all bad things, by the way).
Much of life eventually felt like a long list of things you had to do. It got harder to look ahead with positivity and anticipation.
Now, it’s like you’ve entered the rat race and there’s no exit sign in sight. Because of your heightened life stressors, you and your partner find it harder to interact in meaningful ways. And, easier to argue and shut each other out.
Now is the perfect time to add some spontaneity to your relationship. Set aside some time to just have fun regardless of how counterintuitive it may feel.
The fact that this feels counterintuitive proves just how much you need it.
Try anything you like. The only rule is that you have an enjoyable time together.
Here are some ideas
- Go biking together
- Go on a marriage retreat together
- Spend a day at a water park
- Go for a hike
- Try camping
- Take a weekday off and just sleep in
It really doesn’t matter what you do. Just try something out of the norm and lighten up!
Do you desire a stronger relational bond with your partner? Now could be the perfect time to contact the OC Relationship Center to build a better foundation for a healthy relationship!
