The high expectations you set for your partner may be killing your relationship.
Whether these expectations are monetary, relational or family-related among others, this can be unhealthy.
Here’s why placing high expectations on your significant other can be harmful and what to do instead.
Placing Expectations on Your Partner Can Kill Your Relationship
There’s something you need to be reminded of when it comes to your romantic relationship.
You can’t make your partner do anything!
Your partner has the free will to do whatever they choose. The more you disregard that fact, the more you’ll attempt to control your partner, placing unrealistic expectations on them.
And, the more you try to control your partner, the more disappointed you’ll be. No one likes being controlled including your partner. They’ll resist your attempts to place expectations on them.
It’s the surest way to get exactly what you don’t want. In fact, these high expectations can ruin your relationship.
Placing Expectations on Yourself Can Make Your Relationship Thrive
Instead of placing expectations on your partner, place them on yourself.
Yes, it sounds counterintuitive. After all, it easy for us to think that someone else is the problem. To focus on someone else’s negative behavior.
Make a point to be all the things for your partner that you’d like your partner to be for you (also remembering that what your partner needs will likely differ a bit from what you need).
You can often get what you want out of a relationship through loving your partner the way you should.
Of course, there’s the chance you’d work very hard at changing yourself and being all you can only to be disappointed. Again, we ultimately can’t control anyone.
However, there’s a better likelihood that your positive change will influence your partner to love you back. That’s influence, though, which is far different than control.
And far different from setting high expectations for your partner while completely or partially letting yourself off the hook.
In Conclusion
High expectations can feel impersonal, cold, uncaring and selfish.
These expectations don’t ask, “What can I do to love you better and improve your life?”
Instead, these expectations ask, “What can you do to love me better and improve my life?”
That’s backward thinking and, over time, this can ruin your relationship.
Are you expecting or receiving too high of expectations in your relationship?
The good news is that we all can change for the better and today is the best day of all to do that! How could be the perfect time to contact the OC Relationship Center to build a better foundation for a healthy relationship!
