Every day, relationships fail for a variety of reasons. Although the reasons for this are often complex, there are usually some common themes among those who call it quits.
In some cases, if they’d worked through their difficulties earlier, it could’ve saved the relationship. What follows are three common topics couples tend not to discuss until it’s too late.
What Your Life Goals Are
There’s a certain sense that most peoples’ lives turn out a little (or a lot) different than hoped or expected. However, if things are way different in a bad way that could spell trouble.
If one or more in a relationship begins to feel like their life as a couple is getting in the way of their dreams, this can lead to division, resentment and bitterness.
In too many cases, a couple hasn’t taken the time to find out what each other’s hopes and dreams are.
This is an important aspect to discuss as the relationship gets started. However, it’s just as important to regularly discuss on dates and other occasions once the relationship is further down the road.
Goals and dreams can change. By regular communication, you’ll be able to pick up on these cues.
What are your family, personal and career goals, for instance? Are those goals being achieved?
Life goals often aren’t charted out on paper. They’re the subjective yearnings of our hearts based on our own uniqueness.
Because our purpose and mission are so central to happiness in our lives, it’s easy to understand how a relationship could be abandoned if it stands in opposition to these goals.
That brings up some potential questions regarding relational goals:
- Is one partner unfairly blaming the other for unachieved goals, using them as a scapegoat?
- Are the goals really worth chasing?
- Is the complaint about unmet goals just an excuse to end the relationship when there are other reasons for dissatisfaction?
- What roadblocks to your dreams is your partner creating (either knowingly or unknowingly)?
Couple’s counseling can be a great way to work through these challenges so a valuable commitment isn’t needlessly abandoned.
Addressing Your Past Hurts
Past hurts are personal. So personal, in fact, that they often aren’t adequately communicated in a relationship.
If those hurts aren’t handled in a healthy way, they can be a big factor in a failed relationship.
Past hurts can lead to addiction, anger, relational withdrawal, depression, anxiety and more.
That’s why it’s crucial to communicate your past hurts with your partner and work through them.
If this doesn’t happen, your pain will only create a host of other problems for you, your partner and your family.
Discussing Your Finances
This final one probably won’t surprise many but serves as a good reminder. Lack of communication over finances is a major reason why people split.
Maybe you don’t discuss your financial goals or one person in the relationship isn’t trying to provide for the basic needs of your family. Another in the relationship may have unrealistic standard-of-living expectations for their partner.
It could also be that one person in the relationship is spending impulsively and secretively.
Whatever the case, finances need talked about in a relationship in for it to thrive.
Could your relationship benefit from better communication on the big topics healthy couples need to discuss? Now could be the perfect time to contact the OC Relationship Center to build a better foundation for a healthy marriage!
