What is your New Year’s resolution?

When discussing New Year’s resolutions, typically people want to lose weight, get their finances in order, be a better person, get organized, or something that can be physically seen.  How often do you hear someone say they want to make a difference in their relationships, strengthen their relationships, or work on having a stronger marriage?  Probably not too often; however, this would be a great suggestion for many couples.

Life is so hectic and busy with both people working, kids to take care of, sporting events to attend, and their own hobbies, many times couples become strangers in their own homes, and in no time at all, they begin to lose their connection to each other.  So, if you commit to making your New Year’s resolution about making a difference in your marriage, where will you begin?

  • First, you have to realize there is an issue if you are living your life like a robot or as a matter of convenience.  Many people stay in a relationship just because life is good enough, the mortgage is paid, and the kids are growing up and behaving like decent teenagers.  That is so not true.  You can make a difference just by reconnecting to your mate.
  • Be truthful and realistic.  Don’t just put on a happy face in public or in front of friends and family.  Work hard to where that smile is genuine.  Commit to making a difference and being truly happy.
  • Turn everything off; the television, the stereo, the video games.  Make time for each other.  Talk every day for at least 30 minutes.  Communication makes for strong connections.
  • Show respect to your mate, in front of everyone and in private.  Show respect in front of your children, in front of your parents, and in front of your in-laws.  Mutual respect can make a huge difference.
  • Take care of yourself.  Continue to learn by reading, doing crossword puzzles, watching educational shows on television, or whatever it is you like to do.  Don’t ever lose who are you because you spend all of your time trying to make things right with your mate.
  • Be patient.  Realize that changing your behavior and paving the road to creating a stronger relationship with your mate will not happen overnight.  It took time to lose the closeness; it will take time to get it back.

Throughout your transformation, realize what’s important and do whatever it takes to move forward, on a stronger path.  If you find you need to talk with someone throughout this process, you may want to reach out to the professionals at the Relationship Center of Orange County to help you.  Schedule your appointment online using our online scheduling tool, call us at (949) 220-3211, or text us.

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