Do you feel underappreciated by your husband? If so, this can be a tough place to be. The pressures of life can make it easy to forget how important a marriage partner is.
You’ve probably heard the saying, “You never know what you’ve got until it’s gone.” Sadly, this could often be applied when marriages break up, separations occur or when someone experiences the death of a spouse. Then, we finally realize what we had but it’s too late.
Thankfully, this isn’t how things have to be for your marriage.
It’s most likely that your husband does appreciate you deep down. You just don’t feel like your partner’s doing a good job of expressing appreciation. You’re hurting right now because you feel undervalued and unloved.
If this is the situation you find yourself in, here are some things to try.
Quit Trying to Change Your Husband Through Nagging, Arguing and Anger
You’re likely bitter if you’ve felt underappreciated for long. In this case, it can be easy to nag, complain, argue and even yell to get your husband to “see the light”.
The first thing to remember is that you won’t get positive change from your man by using negative confrontation methods. You’ll get more of the same and things will grow continually worse.
To succeed, you’ll need to employ more subtle and loving methods (even though it may feel counterintuitive at first).
Find Ways to Appreciate Your Husband Better
By now, are you thoroughly fed up with trying to change your husband?
That means you’re on the right track.
You can’t change him. You can model for him how you’d like to be treated, however. This is all best done without asking him to appreciate you more. You simply show him how to treat you by appreciating him more.
Ask some tough questions to yourself. For instance, “Do I also take my husband for granted?”
Chances are, the lack of appreciation isn’t one-sided. Someone will have to take the first step or things won’t get any better.
Try to do little things throughout the day to show your husband you care.
Thank him, praise him, be positive and be intimate.
Your husband will likely follow suit and find ways to appreciate you more as a result. You both will, once again, remember how to nurture your relationship together.
Sometimes, things aren’t that easy, though. If so, you may benefit from counseling.
Communicate with Your Husband in a Counseling Session
Especially if you’re struggling to communicate about taking each other for granted, you should seriously consider counseling.
Every couple could benefit from counseling if they’d give it a try. You’ll have a trained, third party there for both of you. You’ll find healthy methods to express your frustration and discover ways to start appreciating each other more.
The OC Relationship Center is highly skilled at helping couples regardless of the problems they face. You can easily schedule an appointment at either our Mission Viejo or Newport Beach, CA locations.