People look for many different qualities in a mate. So, not surprisingly, there’s a lot of confusion about traits you should look for in a partner.
After all, we’re highly unlikely to get everything we’re looking for in a significant other. There will need to be some compromise on both sides.
However, there are some underlying, foundational qualities you need to look for to ensure a successful relationship. The difficulty lies in the fact that these traits aren’t always the ones that jump out at you.
They’re usually either quietly working under the surface or they aren’t. Here are a few non-negotiable traits to look for in a partner.
Although some have the tendency to be attracted to “good guys” or “bad girls”, kindness still is king.
Being with someone who is kind to you but not others may be thrilling for a while. There’s the “bad” appeal.
But what happens when your partner is no longer able to compartmentalize their rudeness and they start treating you like they were treating everyone else all along?
Kindness gets a person further in every area of life. In no place is it harder to practice and more essential than in a committed relationship.
If your partner is consistently a “jerk” to you later on, that will get old fast. However, if there’s an inherent respect and kindness towards you, that will sustain you even in the tough times.
When evaluating whether a date is kind, don’t only look at how he or she treats you. Your date may be able to fool you for a while.
Instead, how does your date treat their parents, restaurant workers or those less fortunate? Find out the answer to that and you’ll have a good clue.
A Positive Outlook on Life
The quality of a positive outlook in a mate can come out in a variety of ways. But one thing’s for sure: Without this trait, life can really become a drag.
If your partner is consistently negative, it will eat at you like cancer. Life will become unbearable and you may take on the trait of negativity yourself.
Living in negativity is like a fish living in a tank that’s never clean. It feels suffocating, unhealthy and toxic. It kills your productivity and snuffs out your hope.
Avoid negativity at all costs. Find someone who can see life in a positive light and the sky will be the limit.
This trait can exhibit itself in a quiet contentment, a good sense of humor or resiliency in tough times.
Closely watch how your partner handles difficult situations–especially the little ones. Life is mainly made up of a myriad of small sufferings that if, born well, enrich the life of the sufferer. If born badly, “the little things kill”, as the song goes.
The Qualities You Have and Want to Become
In conclusion, what are the qualities you possess and want to become? You’ll have to be a bit of a speculator when looking for a mate.
Learn to locate the most-important traits in raw form. We’re all still a work in progress and, hopefully striving to get better.
So, you could say, besides the obvious trait of trustworthiness, the quality of wanting to become a better person is a must.
Arguably, the greatest beauty of a strong relationship is that you become better people together. Oh, there are storms and there are problems, but you chip the rough edges off of each other.
The process isn’t always fun and sometimes it’s painful. But, you become better together and, as a result, make the world a brighter place.