There have been billions of daughters throughout the generations.
Guess what. None of them were perfect.
Not one.
Do you secretly put pressure on yourself to be the perfect daughter?
You need to stop and just be yourself. Here’s why.
Playing the Perfect Game
Want to play that game? Really, you don’t.
Two things will happen if you try.
You may end up extremely discouraged or depressed because you can’t be who you think your parents want you to be.
Or, you’ll begin the adventure of the double life. This option’s probably more common.
You project a perfect image when around your parents but are anything but when not in their company.
This can lead to risky decisions because internally something tells you you’re being unfair to yourself by trying to appear perfect. So, you rebel from that pressure whenever you can.
But the decisions you make when your parents aren’t looking could hurt you. And your parents will probably eventually find out anyway.
Giving up on Perfect Doesn’t Mean Giving up
So, you’re finally convinced that being the perfect daughter isn’t possible.
That doesn’t mean you should give up on forward progress. Progress is your real goal. Just small progress over time.
Imagine that you have a big garden. You don’t want a single weed in that garden but find that there is always one more to pick.
You could just give up and say, “what’s the point of weeding?”
But you probably wouldn’t be proud to show your garden to guests who stop by.
That garden is your life. Keep weeding. Continually work towards being a better person.
But be kind to yourself and stop fretting. Otherwise, you’ll give up trying or pretend that you’re trying when you’re really not.
Who Says You Need to Be Perfect, Anyway?
There’s a good chance that you only think your parents expect that of you. It may only be a flawed perception.
After all, we’re often harder on ourselves than we are on other people. Your parents are full of mistakes just like you are.
They should have the ability to love you through your failures and imperfections. They needed the same understanding from others to get to where they are today.
What If Your Parent Demands Perfection?
That’s not an impossible place to find yourself as a daughter. If that’s you, things won’t be quite so easy.
You need to give yourself permission not to be perfect even though you feel like it’s expected.
Sometimes, parents are too hard on their children because they want a better life for them than they had.
But that can be taken too far.
Try to gain your parent’s approval. It’s a satisfying thing to accomplish.
But also know that you won’t be able to always gain their approval. At times, you’ll need to courageously do what you must even without their approval.
In Summary
You can be a great daughter but not a perfect one. Let the beauty of progress mark your life instead of perfection.
In doing so, you’ll be as near perfect as you could be without all the stress, fear, guilt and sadness of unmet expectations. Schedule your appointment for either couples counseling or men’s counseling using our online scheduling tool, call us at (949) 393-8662, or text us.
