Searching for a mirror-image mate? As cool as you are and all, that may not be the best strategy.
Could it work? Absolutely.
But it turns out that the whole “opposites attract” thing is more than just a cute saying.
Why is this the case? Here are a few important reasons.
Just Like You: Unattainable Expectations
Are you in danger of setting your expectations too high because you want a mirror-image mate? If so, that could backfire. You may end up another year older and still all alone.
We aren’t talking about high character standards here or similarities in values. Everyone who wants a lasting relationship needs to strive for those in a mate and to be those expected things themselves!
Instead, the danger is that you want your mate to be so much like you that you never find the “clone.” And what if you were one of the rare “lucky ones” who did find their exact match?
Is it possible that the uncanny similarities in your mate would drive you batty instead of creating a utopian relational bliss?
That brings us to our next point.
Variety Can Complement Your Strengths and Weaknesses
Finding a mate who’s different from you can create a winning strategy. Imagine a football team full of players whose only gift was kicking field goals or a baseball team full of pitchers who couldn’t hit a baseball to saves their lives.
Teams like that wouldn’t stand a chance because a good team requires balance. In the same way, your relationship needs balance. A varied list of strengths, weaknesses and interests between you and your mate will help to create such a balance.
Maybe you’re the serious type. Perhaps, someone with a bubbly personality or good sense of humor would help you strike a balance.
Or maybe you’re the right-brained, creative type. A left-brained, analytical mate would be a great help with your finances while you could help the two of you think outside the box about life.
Differences aren’t necessarily bad. Embracing them can make for a stronger match that functions much better.
Expanding Your Horizons Can Be Fun
By focusing on shared values instead of trying to get everything the same, you’ll broaden who you are as a person.
You’ll find it exciting to try new foods, consider different options for meaningful work and find unique leisure activities you never would’ve considered otherwise.
Go ahead and look in the mirror. That’s fine.
But when searching for a mate, put that mirror away and observe the amazing variety.