Feeling Taken for Granted in Your Marriage? Here’s Where to Start

Do you feel like your husband takes you for granted? If so, that’s a painful and lonely place to be. Life gets busy, and it’s easy to lose sight of how much we all need appreciation and emotional connection — especially in marriage.

Modern life is busy, and emotional connection often gets pushed to the side. It’s easy to forget to thank each other, to notice the small efforts, or to show affection when stress is high. But when those patterns continue, resentment builds — and you may find yourself wondering, “Does he even see me anymore?”

Before You Blame, Breathe

When we feel invisible, it’s tempting to react with anger, nagging, or withdrawal. That reaction is totally understandable — it’s self-protection. But it rarely leads to the change you want.

Instead, what if you slowed down and asked: What do I need in order to feel more loved? That’s a more honest and empowering place to begin the conversation.

Sometimes, It’s Not One-Sided

This can be hard to hear, but it’s worth asking yourself gently: Have I also stopped showing appreciation? That doesn’t mean it’s your fault. But when both partners feel unseen, it creates a silent feedback loop — each waiting for the other to go first.

Everyday Connection Matters

We reach out to each other in small ways all the time — through a quick story, a sigh at the end of the day, or a subtle “What do you think?” It’s easy to miss these moments, especially when we’re distracted, overwhelmed, or emotionally distant.

Relationship researcher Dr. John Gottman found that partners who regularly “turn toward” each other in response to these bids for attention tend to feel more connected, respected, and emotionally fulfilled.

Next time your partner shares something — even something small — try pausing to look up and respond. That simple shift can be a powerful step back toward mutual appreciation.

You might start with simple, sincere efforts: saying thank you, complimenting him on something specific, making space for connection. Not because it’s your job to fix it — but because healthy connection often invites healthy response. And even if he doesn’t respond immediately, know that you are making deposits into the marital ’emotional bank account’ for both of you

You Deserve to Be Seen

This isn’t about “doing more” or ignoring your hurt. It’s about remembering what you want to feel in this relationship — and making space for that to happen again.

When Your Husband Takes You for Granted: A Deeper Look

It doesn’t always happen overnight. Sometimes, a pattern of emotional distance or unspoken resentment builds up quietly over time. You may not even realize how much it’s affecting you — or your relationship — until you find yourself feeling invisible, overwhelmed, or hurt.

If you’re trying and still feeling stuck, that doesn’t make you weak — it means you’re paying attention. And it may be time to invite support.

Therapy Can Help You Reconnect — or Reassess

Couples Counseling gives you a place to say what you really feel, without blame — and to learn how to rebuild emotional connection from both sides. Whether you’re exhausted from doing all the work, or unsure if he even notices the strain, you don’t have to figure it out alone.

Let’s Talk — We’re Here When You’re Ready

If your husband takes you for granted and it’s weighing on your heart, you’re not alone — and you don’t have to fix it all by yourself. Marriage Counseling can help you sort through what you’re feeling and find new ways to reconnect.

You can book your counseling session online, call us at (949) 393-8662, or text us to get started.

Editor’s note: This post was refreshed in 2025 to reflect a more current, compassionate view of relationships and emotional labor.