So, you think you’ve found the one and only girl for you? Congrats!
There’s just one thing nagging you now. You want to propose but you have this hidden fear. “What if she doesn’t accept my engagement proposal?”
Like any fears, some are grounded in reality while others aren’t. Here are some ways to increase the odds that your girl will accept your marriage request.
First, It Isn’t About How You Propose
The method of your proposal, while potentially romantic, is a moot point in reality. What’s most important is what you’ve done before popping the million-dollar question.
This definitely isn’t the time to pressure your girl into accepting your proposal by asking in a public place like a ballgame if you worry she might say “no”. What if your girl isn’t ready and you just put her (and you) in a potentially humiliating situation? Not to mention how this could affect your future relationship.
Hopefully you’ve built enough of a positive friendship together that you’re confident of a “yes”. If not, it’s time to do more work before putting yourself out there in such a big way. That leads us to the next point.
Talk About Engagement with Your Girlfriend First
There needs to be plenty of open communication in your relationship. You’re building trust and hoping to someday start a family together if things go well.
Some wrongly believe that getting engaged should be some mystical, floaty type of “pirouette”. Um, not exactly.
Sure, it should be a major high and accomplishment but you also need to count the cost.
Are you ready to be committed over the long haul even when it hurts? To potentially struggle with finances, job difficulties and grief together? To get up in the middle of the night to comfort a kid with the stomach bug?
You need to talk about the details of where you’d live once married and all other pertinent matters of your life first.
Here’s the most important thing to remember: If she hasn’t said “yes” to the idea of your engagement in private, you’re definitely not ready to ask the question publicly.
Has your girl been bugging the heck out of you to propose to her? In that case, ask away my friend (so long as you’re ready to commit)!
Be Really Creative in How You Propose
Remember how we said how you propose is a moot point? That law only applied for those who were unsure if their girl would say “yes”.
Once you’re confident that your girl will give the affirmative, it’s time to get creative.
How you propose will be remembered for the rest of your lives. Many people will ask how you got engaged.
The last thing you want to have to say is something like, “She was coming out of the McDonald’s bathroom and I asked her.”
Your own love story is different from anyone else’s. It should be exciting and fun. Be sure to make an engagement memory you’ll look back on with fondness.
Do you have questions about dating, engagement and marriage that you’re unsure of? The OC Relationship Center can help. We provide counseling at our Mission Viejo and Newport Beach, CA locations. Scheduling an appointmentis quick and easy.