If you’re wondering how to make a relationship work, one of the keys is having adequate time together. The happy American couple is one that learns to solve the busyness dilemma, a formidable and widespread problem for many.
You may feel too busy for a relationship, constantly coming up to another roadblock in the form of a schedule conflict. Even for the very busy couple, however, those challenges don’t have to define your relationship.
If you’re wondering, first of all, how to keep your relationship, spending quality time with your mate is key. It’s also the secret to a thriving commitment. Here are five tips for busy couples!
Remember that Your Relationship is More Important than Work
Figuring out how to balance work and life can be tough when you and your spouse are really busy. Make a priority to choose your partner over work because your mate will always be more important. If this priority becomes misplaced, your relationship will quickly suffer.
Work should be a servant in helping you improve your significant-other relationship. If your employment becomes the master, there’s something wrong. No job is so valuable that it should erode your priceless and most vital relationship.
In her Psychology Today article entitled, “4 Relationship Mistakes Busy People Make,” Alice Boyes Ph.D. shares the following on this topic:
“Recognize that the time you spend on your relationship is an investment, just like the time you spend working or studying.”
Discuss Ways to Save Money and Work Less
Saving money is just as good as earning it in many cases. This is something we often forget whenever we get trapped in our materialistic pursuits. Sometimes doing less is more.
When you come up to the end of your life, you won’t wish for more money. You may well wish for more time, though. To this end, think of ways you can free up more of the greatest resource you have—time. And regardless of that old saying that “time is money,” it isn’t true. Time is a priceless commodity. Money has a given value but it certainly isn’t priceless.
Brainstorm about ways you could save money or earn some cash doing a side business from home, for instance. Life is more than having a more expensive vehicle or house. And your relationship and family are far more important than those things anyway.
Get Rid of Distractions
Schedule time each day or week when you agree to no outside distractions (as much as possible). Set aside the television, social media and any work you brought home to focus on your significant other.
Better yet, get out of the house so you’re not tempted to immerse yourself in another negative news story or browse Pinterest. But don’t let your guard down. You don’t want to be one of those couples who “go on a date” only to ignore their partner because of their smartphone!
Enjoy the Ordinary Together
Much of life exists in the seemingly mundane tasks and routines we all encounter. Assess the way you carry out these routines and see if there are any you could do together.
Hey, if you already need to do the task anyway, why not. That could mean something as simple as a quick run to the grocery store, exercising together, cleaning out the garage or commuting together.
Don’t be so dead set on a date to improve your relationship. Although you should regularly schedule those times, be careful not to miss out on everyday tasks that can lead to a stronger relationship if you work together.
Consider a Major Life Change to Save Your Relationship
Are you stuck in an unhappy marriage but you desperately want to make it work? If so, sometimes you can try all the time-saving tips out there but you’ll still come up empty.
At times, such deep struggles require making a big move. That may mean changing jobs so you don’t have to travel so much. It also could involve moving to a more affordable community so you don’t have to feel like a slave to your job or schedule.
Of course, decisions like these shouldn’t be made flippantly or impulsively. It will take a lot of discussion and wisdom to make the right move. In this scenario, it may make sense to see your local therapist to get some help with working through such big decisions.
Busyness and How to Make Your Relationship Work Better with Counseling
Sometimes unraveling the puzzle of how to become less busy requires some additional help. The OC Relationship Center is trained to provide you with evidence-based methods to free up time for you and your mate. We’re also able to help you with a variety of other relational challenges you may be facing.
Want to better learn how to have a healthy relationship? We offer counseling in Orange County, California at both our Mission Viejo and Newport Beach office locations. Feel free to schedule an appointment with us.