There must’ve been a trigger for you to take interest in this article. Likely, there were several. Maybe your parent fell in their home, is confused or is isolating.
Either way, the signs are starting to add up. Your parents need more help. And you’re not quite sure what to do.
Although no one solution to this problem is exactly the same, here are some thoughts.
Find Some Emotional Support
If it was just attacking an everyday problem, that’d be one thing. But this isn’t an everyday problem.
Your parents made unusual sacrifices for you and built memories you’ll never forget.
Your parents are declining and that is sad to watch. It’s emotional and you likely feel overwhelmed. That’s completely normal.
Solving the problem is harder because of the strong feelings tied to it. One of the best first steps is to talk with a trusted friend, seek out some advice from a therapist or both.
You don’t need to walk this path alone. You’ll feel much better after getting out your fears, anger, sadness and feelings of not knowing what to do.
By doing so, coming up with the right choices to solve your parents’ problems will be easier.
The Least-Restrictive Solution
Your goal is to provide exactly what your parent needs without infringing on their independence.
No matter how old your parents are, their need and desire for independence will always be there.
Maybe all you need is someone to come in and clean periodically or to provide some meals. That may not mean that your parent shouldn’t drive anymore or needs to move to an assisted-living home. But, then again, it may.
By finding the least restrictive option you’ll save time and money. But more importantly, you’ll empower your parents to remain as independent as possible.
This will strengthen your relationship with your parents. It will build trust and give your parents the hope and courage they need to go forward.
They’ll stay more purposeful and happy as a result.
You can’t always do everything you want for your parents. If you’re trying, you probably wrestle with feelings of guilt at times.
You may feel that you need to do everything yourself because your parents did most everything for you.
However, there are times when you just can’t do everything. That’s when you need to delegate some of those responsibilities.
Maybe you can find people from your community or family to provide meals, help with shopping or to regularly check up on your parents when you can’t.
Or it could be time to pay someone to offer services that will help your parents with everyday tasks around the house.
Although it’s hard for anyone to see a decline in their parents, it isn’t the loss of your relationship.
If it’s the right time to get extra help, everyone involved will feel relieved though it may take a while for your parents to see the value in the changes. If it is time for you to schedule your couples counseling appointment online using our online scheduling tool, call us at (949) 220-3211, or text us.