Why Your Mate Sometimes Withdraws (It May Not Be About You)

When things seem out of whack in a relationship, it can be easy to think that you did something wrong.

If your mate is withdrawing, you likely have a lot of questions. You may be wondering if your mate is upset with you.

Here are some reasons why that tension may not be about you.

There Are Many Reasons People Withdraw

Sure, partners regularly withdraw because of their significant other. But they also regularly withdraw for a myriad of other reasons.

Withdrawing is a defense mechanism we use because the amount of stress we’re experiencing is too great.

You can see how that could happen if your relationship is odds, However, you can just as easily see how it could happen for any number of the following reasons and more:

  • Depression
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Ongoing work stress
  • Unresolved grief
  • A big life change: Like a new baby, moving or new stage of life
  • Conflict with people other than you
  • Health issues
  • Many more possibilities

Any number of the items on this list (or combination of them) can cause big-time problems in the form of withdrawing.

Finding the Reason Your Partner is Withdrawing

Although you can ask your mate what’s causing him or her to withdraw, they may not even know what specifically is causing it.

This could understandably increase your concern that they view you as the problem but don’t want to talk about it.

Often, that isn’t the case. They are just so overwhelmed that they can’t sort out their own emotions and defense mechanisms.

Although occasional withdrawing is normal, if it becomes ongoing, it’s wise to seek the advice of a trusted professional.

A therapist will help you identify what’s causing your mate to withdraw, offer third-party advice and help you come up with healthy solutions.

You very well may not be the reason your partner is pulling back but you can help with a solution.

Our team is committed to helping you work through virtually any difficult life situation including relationship withdraw. We’re happy to be there for you!

If it is time for you to schedule your couples counseling appointment online using our online scheduling tool, call us at (949) 220-3211, or text us.