When someone you totally trust breaks that trust, you will find yourself wondering if you can ever trust that person again, or even if you can ever forgive that person. It is ultimately up to you to decide if you want to dwell on the hurt or try to let it go and move forward in your relationship and with your life. When trust is broken, especially by someone you held in high esteem, it can throw you into an emotional tizzy.
Trust can be broken after a series of events where you just can’t take one more thing with a particular person, or it can be as a result of one incident. Either way, you can’t tell your heart how to feel when someone special broke your trust.
Hurt can scar you emotionally causing you to feel angry and betrayed. These things are understandable; however, you shouldn’t dwell on the issue so much that you end up an emotional basketcase on the verge of a breakdown. Depression can set in as well. So what to do now? Forgive.
Forgiveness. Let go of the bitterness, even if you can’t forget. Forgive the action and move on with your life, with or without the person who broke your trust. Try to learn from the situation, and start down a new road toward compassion for and kindness to others. If you are able to forgive, you will have a lower stress rate, lower blood pressure, and less hostility towards other in general. Let it go. Learn from it. Move on.
Consider whether or not this specific person has ever done something previously to hurt you. Remember that nobody is perfect. Everybody makes mistakes, including you. Maybe you’ve inadvertently hurt someone in the past. Does that mean that you are not trustworthy? Probably not. Communication. Communicate with the person who has hurt you. Let them know. See what they have to say for themselves. Maybe it was unintentional. Maybe it wasn’t. But you’ll never know unless you have a conversation.
Is this person who hurt you your best friend? your spouse? your child? Regardless, forgiveness will only come if you want to change your way of thinking. It’s an ongoing process that will take time to change the way you feel, the way you think, or anything else that has become the “norm” for you when you think about the act that caused you so much pain. Keep in mind, this has nothing to do with changing the person who hurt you. Only that person can take the steps to do that. You can only change yourself.
If you value your relationship, you may need to consider the two of you seeking professional help. Maybe you just need a counselor to talk both of you through things to make each of you see the other’s point of view. If the other person doesn’t want to hear of, let alone agree to, seeking professional help, go alone. It’s never too late to make changes for a better you! Let the professionals at the Relationship Center of Orange County help you. Schedule your appointment online using our online scheduling tool, call us at (949) 220-3211, or text us.